Activity – Csab123

Csab123 posted an update in the group Community 4 weeks, 1 days ago

Not a wink of sleep.. I feel like I’m losing my mind as well as my money and everyone else’s. I can’t believe I did it again!! I swore I wouldn’t gamble again and yesterday I lost 2 grand then lost another grand trying to get it back on online casinos.
That was all the money in the account and maxed out credit cards. Is there any way to get through this? I owe so many people money and I just dug my hole deeper. I feel like I was kicked in the gut . I couldn’t just leave it alone😢 now I’m in a bigger mess and it’s Easter. I can’t tell anyone I love because they gave me one last shot and I blew it! I’m scared I can’t take this anymore 😓
- bbgirl replied 4 weeks, 1 days ago
  
  I understand. Im in exactly the same boat. Hadnt played in a while then gave in won lots and lost it all again with more. I feel so angry at myself no words can explain.
  - Csab123 replied 4 weeks, 1 days ago
    
    Literally what I did! I always need to keep going for more! I’m so damn mad at myself it’s unreal! I shouldn’t be surprised but I am , I’m surprised I’m this damn thick headed and stupid! I’m ruining my life and everyone around me including my kids. It’s horrible.
    I’m so
    Sorry you are dealing with the same. I don’t want anyone to feel this low .. it’s truly isolating:(
    - Dan replied 4 weeks, 1 days ago
      
      I unfortunately know this experience all to well.. I’ve been dealing with a gambling addiction for decades. Here is what I have learned. The situation you are in can’t be changed right now. It happened and no amount of stress and beating yourself will change it. In order to start to go in a positive direction and heal from this you have to get some sleep. There will be plenty of time to figure out the best options for recovering from this but it’s important to be rested so you can think straight. Please take a deep breath and realize it is something that happened and it’s over now. Try to relax and get some rest. Even if it means taking a Tylenol pm and taking a small nap. I hope you feel better soon. Take care
      
      Csab123 replied 4 weeks, 1 days ago
      
      Thank you for your thoughtful reply. I know you are so right. I just keep thinking what’s going to happen when the bills and mortgage come in and the money is gone . I so appreciate all the feedback.. this is a lonely place . I keep thinking that no one in their right mind would throw away this much money in one night, especially someone living paycheck to paycheck. It’s so embarrassing what I do. I will hopefully sleep tonight, I’ll go to bed earlier. I wish I could nap but I’m so anxious even after taking my medication. I can’t go back in time though, you’re right !
      
      Dan replied 4 weeks, 1 days ago
      
      1st your not alone. It’s a shitty place to be. I’m only sharing my experiences and what I’ve learned in order for me to survive. I want more for you eventually but it’s important for you to survive right now. You can start on fixing the shit later. For you and your family
- Tracie replied 4 weeks, 1 days ago
  
  There is a way out. I was exactly the same about few months ago, and it started about 3 years ago. Today it’s not completely over but I am able to keep myself away from this. If I ever play, I also am not able to leave before losing everything, but that’s only half of the time now. For me the key is to never start and I am able to do that. Daydreaming about gambling is gone. To me, initially it was this non stop thinking of the fun. First, that ended. Second, it was about chasing the losses, that one is hard to stop. But y9u have to accept what you already lost and accept that it’s gone and it’s not coming back from gambling. If you just focus on getting it back from where you lost, most likely you’ll dig yourself deeper in. Maybe you can try to focus on getting the money elsewhere. Or even better, not getting it back, just let it go, for your own sake.
  - Dan replied 4 weeks, 1 days ago
    
    Very wise advice Tracie 👍
  - Csab123 replied 4 weeks, 1 days ago
    
    Yes I’m chasing my losses and going deeper in a hole. I keep thinking of the money that I owe my daughter and how I will ever pay it back. Now we have no money in our bank account and I gambled our mortgage money away. I cannot believe I did that AGAIN! We don’t have any savings left, I destroyed us financially. I can’t even claim bankruptcy because the only asset we have is our home.
    I hope I can get to the point you are at. I’m afraid of what’s to come when my husband sees . Thank you so much for all the support. I know I’m rattling on but it really means a lot to me!
    - Csab123 replied 4 weeks, 1 days ago
      
      Thank you everyone for all the support . It means the world to me right now. Dan you are right. I can’t undo it .
      
      Dan replied 4 weeks, 1 days ago
      
      Acceptance is the key 😉