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What I hate is the stupidity of thinking, ´I can beat it this time!´, then come home and have to borrow money from a friend to make sure I don´t go into a negative in my bank account. My brain played tricks on me- made me think it was okay to go because all my bills were paid and I had money in the bank. Then the crap hit the fan when I sat there and my brain said, ´Just one more $20 bill. You will hit it this time´, until I either grew weary and exhausted and hungry (not having eaten for at least 4 or 5 hours), or the bank says, ´Insufficient funds.´ Twice in the last 2 months I have had to borrow money. The first time, when I got home, I checked my bank account the next day (never on the same day- the fear of seeing the loss wouldn´t allow me to look), I had $29 in the bank (out of $800). My breath caught for a good (bad) minute I think and I am positive my heart was giving me hell too. Did that teach me a lesson? – NO, I did it again 2 weeks later. Last weekend I told myself I could go to another city and try there. I lost $200 in about 15 minutes. Again, I walked to my car completed frustrated and flabbergasted that I could be such a loser. Today I see I have only $100 left (yeah, I encouraged myself and congratulated myself on having the brains to leave, while giving myself hell for having the lack of brains to go there in the first place). One time in a casino out west, I was unemployed, hoping to win some money to stay afloat. I didn´t pay attention until the bank machine said I had used up my $1,000 daily withdrawal allowance. Holy Crap. I was numb on the bus on the way home. Right now, with $100 in the bank I have another week until payday and a bill already due. This is crazy.