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You are not alone, I am in the same boat as you. The comment about becoming a different person really touched the heart.

Gambling desensitizes a person of the value of money. I’m not sure how or why but it does.
If a person was in the jungle and gathered a bag of food and then lost it. Common sense would tell you oh well I’ll just gather more.
And you do and then you’d be on your merry way.
Gambling same philosophy. I’ll just gather some more. It’s not possible you just lose more. It works against our common sense. I think that’s probably why it makes no sense.
To come to terms of losing something and by our own hands is difficult.
“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.”Albert Einstein.
I unfortunately remember a time that I was in a panic state to place that next bet. I had issues I probably still do but not like I did before. I can’t bury my emotions or my regrets in a machine that’s creating something even worse then what I was trying to escape. And in the same breath making someone richer than they deserve to be. You and I and everyone here deserves so much more out of life than pumping a machine full of money.
The thought of how gambling has hurt so many people including myself sickens me.
God please give us the strength to rise above this devastating affliction .
And we will.