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joycems619 posted an update in the group
Community 1 years, 6 months ago Hello Everyone. I want to stop gambling. I have no savings and bad credit. I have been gambling for 14 years. I have done some selfish things to gamble. Never got in trouble with the law but I think I have lost about 50k a year. The problem is everytime I get paid I feel like I am strong enough to go to the casino and control my spending. I love going but it has truly sucked the life out of me. My husband (love him dearly) can’t say no when I ask him if I can go. I tell him to stop me but he can’t. I wish I could control my spending. I think I can everytime. I get paid, I’m in a great mind and I go out and maybe win but come home upset because I gave it all back plus more. What keeps me going also is I owe my dad 60k due to gambling. I feel so bad that I took his money for gambling. He is all about money and wants me to pay him back and looks at me with disappointment. He is 82 and I’m afraid I am running out of time. I told him to take me out of his will. He said he wouldn’t do that. If he passes away I am going to hate myself. I don’t know what to do. I think that carries a huge weight over me. Also I another reason I keep gambling is to payoff my debt to the IRS. I just need a jump start and I am trying to get it from gambling. Please share. Thanks
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I was in somewhat of a similar boat. I owe back student loans and that loomed over my head for years. I played and always told myself “if I won big, that’s was it, I’m paying all my debt off and gonna live happily ever after” unfortunately life isn’t a fairy tale, but you can live happily. The problem is not your will, it’s that at some point you desired your brain (unfortunately for us all we all have) we all know the wins are far and few in between. We all know that the “big win” is probably never going to happen. Yet we would go back and even if we won, we tend to still go back. I have won thousands in a night just to go back to play more and lose it all and than put in more money expecting to just win the thousands I won back. It’s a vicious cycle. I’ve watched some documentaries on it and how you end up playing, not to win but just to play. The jumpstart you talk about… the best way to do that is be bored for awhile. Focus on finding things that interest you or better your life. Stay on this forum. It’s helped me (I couldn’t go past 3 days without scrounging up money to play) I’m 25 days of no gambling and 40 days of no drinking (gambling has been way harder to quit than drinking and I was a heavy drinker). Stay strong. Read others struggles. Understand your not alone. Try to tell others, the release of what you have been hiding will feel a lot better and the accountability will help in the process of stopping. Hope to hear from you and your successes soon.
Thank you. I believe you and I am going to work on it. The hardest part is I see people win big and you always hope. But hopefully taking your recommendations will steer me in the right direction.
Hi Joyce
Glad you are reaching out for support
My experience has been that there is never a big enough win for a compulsive gambler.
The Dream World of the Compulsive Gambler describes that.
What is the dream world of the compulsive gambler?
This is another common characteristic of compulsive gamblers. A lot of time is spent creating images of the great and wonderful things they are going to do as soon as they make the big win. They often see themselves as quite philanthropic and charming people. They may dream of providing families and friends with new cars, mink coats and other luxuries. Compulsive gamblers picture themselves leading a pleasant gracious life, made possible by the huge sums of money they will accrue from their “system”. Servants, penthouses, nice clothes, charming friends, yachts and world tours are a few of the wonderful things that are just around the corner after a big win is finally made.
Pathetically, however, there never seems to be a big enough winning to make even the smallest dream come true. When compulsive gamblers succeed, they gamble to dream still greater dreams. When failing, they gamble in reckless desperation and the depths of their misery are fathomless as their dream world comes crashing down. Sadly, they will struggle back, dream more dreams and of course suffer more misery. No one can convince them that their great schemes will not someday come true. They believe they will, for without this dream world, life for them would not be tolerable.
Hi. I had to face the truth. No win will ever be enough for me. And I’ll never win enough to pay back what I’ve lost. It was time to put the shovel down and crawl out of the hole I kept digging. No more bets. Facing my reality. And making amends. However I could even if it meant I couldn’t do what I wanted to make it right. Hope you share here and hope you find recovery from gambling. Before consequences become even worse. I’m going to prison for my actions someday soon. It doesn’t need to go there for yourself. No bets just for today. Thank you for your honesty and sharing ❤️
All I can say is I totally relate