• jh2os posted an update in the group Group logo of CommunityCommunity 3 months, 3 weeks ago

    Shocking story of my rise and fall. Live in the US and have a casino 30-min away (new). Went in one night 2 yrs ago after an argument with wife. Won $30,000 playing black jack (after $3,000 buy in). Used the $30K sporadically until it was gone. Played BJ on and off, here and there for 2 years — winning, losing. Never really any debt. Played one night with some spare time last year – won $67,000 on a $3K buyin. Poof – gone within a few months. Won $167,000 another night. Gone. Last win was 4 months ago — $233,000 in 8 hours. Now it’s gone and I have about $48,000 in credit debt to deal with. The thing is – I can probably pay it off and wife will never know. Or I could tell her and possibly lose my marriage over this. Or I can commit to help (I already see a therapist for depression) and payoff the debt and not risk divorce. What would you do?

    • Commit to help! G.A., therapy and online groups; i.e. this one and/or another one. Do all three it works. Commit to it, don’t be half in and half out. You will never get ahead being a gambler even though you are winning huge amounts…as you already saw you gave it all back and then some as we all do. We gamble to try and change the way we feel emotionally; escape, distraction. We compulsive gamblers ruin our financial lives, our family lives and our careers.

    • Thx KCKC … I am committed to help – just not sure I want to lose more than just money in the process. And thanks for your comments as I work through this. Was tough to even post this true story 🙁

    • You’re welcome. I steered clear of giving my opinion on if you should tell your wife or when you should tell her because that is your decision. Me being a woman, I would definetly want to know what is going on with my husband, the good and the bad. But I would have an easier time digesting that information if the debt was paid off and he told me he hasn’t gambled since that day and he also told me that he was going to GA and commited to never gambling again

      • Absolutely understand – thank you for your thoughtful response. It’s not that I don’t want to tell her – but I am trying to reverse the situation and put myself in her place … hearing the news .. and reactions.

    • Commit to help whether it is GA, Therapy or even in patient help. When you do commit to help you will find that honesty is the best policy and you will have to divulge your secrets to your wife. There is a possibility that while you think you are softening the blow to your wife by cleaning up the mess, you might make it worse by not bringing her in on whats going on. The longer we wait the worse the blow is to our family, no matter what we have done to clean it up. I created a nightmare with my gambling and the debt is going to take me years to pay off, but once I decided I needed help I went straight to my husband expecting the worse and receiving the best. My point is, we do not know the true reaction of the people we hurt until we own our demons and tell our loved ones. I went to inpatient rehab in Arizona and have not gambled for 144 days and I need to say I feel amazing. It takes a lot of work and strength to stay sober, but as we all know, all great things are worth fighting for. I wish you all the best and know that you can fight this disease that haunts all of us.

      • Thanks Barbarat. I agree with you and want to divulge any secrets. Working up the courage. Not gambling while doing that. And have a therapy appointment in 3 days as well. Thanks again for the response and support.

    • This was a great thread to read. And made me feel extremely hopeful. Marriages can be saved people can stop gambling and recover. I also like it when someone says stay sober. I feel like compulsive gambling is a much looked over disease.