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pokerpeggy posted an update in the group
Community 4 years, 3 months ago The good news: I signed on with a new Payee to manage my money / provide barriers. Bad news: As I’ve done before, I went into a panic and gambled my last paycheck AND also gambled a $500 draw I took out on my next one. So I’m deeper in the whole. The thought of someone taking control of my finances triggers me. As if I could control my own. I obviously cannot handle my own cash. I truly feel like a LOSER and a burden to my family. I am so distraught I’m thinking suicide, but what stops me is I’d probably screw that up too, and create even more of a burden.
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That’s unfortunate. Sometimes our gambling mind makes us do stuff like that. As you may have guessed, suicide is not really a good idea as it just makes more stress for your loved ones and they get to carry on without you. That raises more questions as to the future.
I suggest that you speak to your local public health and they can refer you to counseling. Also get to a Gamblers Anonymous meeting.
I did not realize how freaking difficult it is to stop…. For me it is a journey and it starts by taking one step at a time…. I just threw away $600 this afternoon. Remember the feeling walking out of the casino with it all gone, we certainly didn’t have that feeling when we walked in… next time, before you walk in.. remember what is was like walking out…. WE CAN DO THIS!