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Today is only almost day 6 the thought about gambling has came to my mind several times but each time I remember to remind myself that I will never get a handle on this if I mess up and go. I just think about the rewards that I will reap if I continue to stay away from that misery making money ripping offing horrible place. I will in time have a nice bank account ( I haven’t had that in thirty years thanks to pissing it away gambling) self respect, money to save and pay my bills on time and a sense of pride!! Wow! That would be awesome. I’ve had gotten to the point many times with having no desire to live anymore that I was nothing but a joke and worthless. Constantly trying to hide my addiction and feeling like a complete failure because I couldn’t pay my bills on time because I had to rob peter to pay Paul. Always a nervous unhappy wreck. Lying to family and myself. I broke down and prayed my heart out to God for forgiveness and the power to change my life. I meant it with my whole heart and soul and now I feel I have a good grip on this. I’m high on the future and I feel free . I know I have to trust in the Lord and he will see me through. I’m 58 years old and I want the rest of my years to be happy ones, not broke and miserable ones.