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Hello all – thanks for responding to my previous post. Feeling a lot of shame this morning. Back at work and feeling like the entire world knows I’m a problem gambler. The slightest gesture from anyone gives me anxiety that they know about me – that I’m irresponsible, that I will lose my job. I feel paranoid but also justified in feeling so anxious. I have no evidence that anyone knows. When asked how my weekend was, I have to pretend that it was great. Sort of show that nothing is wrong, that I don’t have a problem. I’m tired of this game I’ve created. Rather than be at work, I simply want to crawl in a closet and hide – as if that would make it all go away. But I’d feel safe for that short while.
No bets today.
Jerome, shame is such an awful part of it. Shame, guilt, being anxious, feeling worthless. Just remember that you are a good person and every time those thoughts come say to yourself that you are worth something. Know none of this is easy but we just keep trying, don’t give up!