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JerMe posted an update in the group
Community 3 months agoI feel beyond stupid, ashamed and bruised. I did it to myself. I had nearly six months of clean time and it all gave way to some stupid bet of a small amount. This has lasted a couple months now and yesterday and the day before was over $1500. I am really embarrassed and ashamed. I when a hard time just functioning, keeping my head up. I feel…[Read more]
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JerMe posted a new activity comment 1 years, 1 months ago
What great news! All that hard work. Stopping gambling, the long hours, the reading of posts and going to meetings- all paid off handsomely! So happy for you!!!
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❤️😊
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JerMe posted a new activity comment 1 years, 1 months ago
Sec2022 – though I didn’t comment often, know I read most all your posts during your journey. Your strength and determination to tackle your addictions is impressive. At times your journey must have been incredibly difficult – what with earning enough to repay restitution, your son’s troubles, and just life in general. You kept true to your goa…[Read more]
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❤️😊
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JerMe posted an update in the group
Community 1 years, 2 months agoIt’s been hard these last few days for whatever reason. I want to gamble badly but I know it will result in total defeat and disappointment. I have about 60 days clean time. I know I can keep it going. It’s been tough and I am sure you all feel it too. And it’s so goofy. I still hold out hope though that I will gamble again someday. Perhaps when…[Read more]
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Jerme congratulations on your days away.
You mention you still keep hope you will gamble some day. I think many do that are trying too stop. But you put it into words. That’s what I like about this site. Some really good posts that verbalize thoughts and feeling a person goes through stopping gambling. For myself it’s given me a stronger way too…[Read more] -
Congrats on your 60 days. I know it ain’t easy. Take it a min at a time. Keep pushing forward.
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JerMe posted an update in the group
Community 1 years, 4 months agoEvening everyone. Thank you to all who post. Reading each of your stories helps me so much. For those of you suffering from recent gambling episodes, you’re in my thoughts and prayers. This addiction is so powerful. I know it will be with me for the rest of my life. I have to keep vigilant and keep working the program. One day at a time.
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JerMe posted an update in the group
Community 1 years, 4 months agoHello everyone. It’s been tough these past 24 hours. The memory of my last loss is fading and it’s been a payday. This addiction is terrible. I keep thinking it’s so crummy having this disease. The addiction is fighting me at the moment. I want to improve but the addiction is putting up roadblocks for me to get around. I have to keep fight…[Read more]
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Hello, you are not crummy at all my addiction. Your addiction or addiction is something we’ve picked to solve some problems. It’s just a wrong pick. Look at your payday your paycheck as your real future be strong you’re a good person
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Stay strong my friend. Never hesitate to reach out to family, friends, support groups, etc. You can get through this. Just focus on today, what can you control to help you until this urge passes? What barriers can you put up to make it more difficult to gamble going forward? Focus on the now, that’s all we have. Remember the reasons why you want…[Read more]
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JerMe posted an update in the group
Community 1 years, 4 months agoHello all! Hope all
Is well with you. I’ve been speaking with my cousin a lot since my aunt died. It’s been so helpful actually. I feel reconnected to my last – something I haven’t felt in over a decade as most everyone abandoned me or I abandoned them. I made no bets this weekend. Have plans of making any today! I have a GA meeting tonig…[Read more] -
JerMe posted an update in the group
Community 1 years, 4 months agoMorning everyone. Saturday which are usually my toughest days. However my husband is home today so that makes it much easier for me to not gamble. I’m just worried about a week from
Today when he has to work all day and I will be alone. I’m thinking of things to do so I’m prepared. Wishing everyone a good and bet free day. One day at a time. -
JerMe posted an update in the group
Community 1 years, 4 months agoStill working through my aunts death. Some family have reached out, ones I haven’t heard from for decades. I have the opportunity to connect my mom with some estranged family. It will be a touchy situation but I think now is a good time for her to reconnect. I just need to lay some groundwork and get her on board with it. No bets today.
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JerMe posted a new activity comment 1 years, 4 months ago
Hi Sec2022. Thank you for always posting. I’ve gotten a lot of strength and motivation from your posts. You keep going and going – I admire that. It helps me to do the same and keep my head up. I appreciate you sharing.
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We can do this ❤️
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JerMe posted an update in the group
Community 1 years, 4 months agoIt’s good to be back posting on here with no gambling news. I’m trying to find a therapist to help me through this as well. That’s been a difficult process but it’s going to work out – I just have to keep at it.
I’ve been talking with a cousin of mine, who’s from my aunts side of the family, the aunt who just passed away. It’s been really therap…[Read more]
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Have a great day!!
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I’m happy for your good news and wish you find a good therapist ga might know?
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JerMe posted an update in the group
Community 1 years, 4 months agoMy daily post here. I’m usually good through the weekdays but it’s the weekends that get me. This coming weekend, my husband will be home so that always helps but it’s the weekends when he’s at work that get me. I have to make plans now to prepare for those times. I also learned that my aunt had passed away yesterday. She was a beautiful person…[Read more]
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One day at a time is all we can do I’m sorry for your loss and pray for your continuing strength
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JerMe posted an update in the group
Community 1 years, 4 months agoHello everyone. I’ve been watching YouTube videos about gambling addiction. It’s been helpful just hearing so many different ways of thinking I have not thought of before myself. I think that is one of the most helpful things about GA, and online communities like this.
Things that are becoming clear to me are that I never once won! Never! If…[Read more]
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JerMe posted an update in the group
Community 1 years, 4 months agoHello all – thanks for responding to my previous post. Feeling a lot of shame this morning. Back at work and feeling like the entire world knows I’m a problem gambler. The slightest gesture from anyone gives me anxiety that they know about me – that I’m irresponsible, that I will lose my job. I feel paranoid but also justified in feeling so anx…[Read more]
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Jerome, shame is such an awful part of it. Shame, guilt, being anxious, feeling worthless. Just remember that you are a good person and every time those thoughts come say to yourself that you are worth something. Know none of this is easy but we just keep trying, don’t give up!
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JerMe posted a new activity comment 1 years, 4 months ago
I admire your strength to rise above your addictions and to make restitution. You inspire me to stay clean and work the program. Thank you for your posts; they have made a difference in me.
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JerMe posted a new activity comment 1 years, 4 months ago
Hi Steve – this post of yours resonated with me. I felt like I was reading my story. I, too, was bullied and put down, especially when I was young. I grew up on welfare and have established myself in so many good ways. I’m going to be starting my masters in January! I never thought I’d have a bachelors degree. Now that I have one, it doesn’t seem…[Read more]
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Graduating with a masters degree was the best feeling ever. I wish you so much success in the masters work, it will surely be something to be proud of (as i remember i was and still am). Being in university you might find some good counselling there? Im back to my guy soon every two weeks
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JerMe posted an update in the group
Community 1 years, 4 months agoAfter having been clean for seven years, I am in the midst of fighting off gambling again. I’ve relapsed and, as my old sponsor warned, going back has proven to be more harmful than my first time around. I have given this addiction so much – my time, money, self-worth – over 20 years of failed attempts to feel satisfied. I cannot put my finger on…[Read more]
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Your entire story reminds me of myself.Today is 7 days free of a bet having only been clean for 2 yrs out of 33 yrs of Gamb started when i was 13.I wouldnt wish this on anybody!! I look forward to reading your posts.Wish their wss more i could do to help- But the way u worded everything is me exactly!!
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I really believe it is our ‘our chemical’ makeup that keeps us going when we know we want and ought to stop… because of the feeling I had of totally being not in control… This may sound simplistic but what helped me was my hobby …or it could be anything that could occupy your mind when you have the strongest urge to just gamble… I am self…[Read more]
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JerMe posted a new activity comment 2 years, 10 months ago
Hi JJ – thanks for sharing your story. This disease is so difficult. I found similarities between us while reading your story. It sounds like you’re trying hard to prevent yourself from gambling. I’m glad you’re on here talking about it. It means you want to change and that’s where all of us have to start.
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JerMe posted a new activity comment 2 years, 10 months ago
Hi Nancy. Easier said than done but hang in there. Take a deep breath and think to yourself how you get the last time you lost playing online slots. Alternatively, tell yourself that will gamble in 5 minutes and see how you feel after those five minutes. If you still feel the urge, give yourself another five minutes. Leave the computer room or…[Read more]
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Hi Nancy, I have been addicted to gambling for 26 years and COVID is the only reason I stopped going to casinos. However, I began to gamble online during the lockdown. It didn’t provide the same thrill as walk-in casinos, but I knew that if I continued it would be equally as exciting. I removed my credit card from my phone, blocked gambling…[Read more]
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JerMe posted a new activity comment 2 years, 11 months ago
Thank you Cat! I am listening to the podcast. I think it’s you speaking and halfway through I have tears in my eyes hearing your story. I hear so many similarities- the abusive family, the mother who hurts with her words, the mental health problems. Thank you for sharing your beautiful story. I am very touched to hear it. When you asked why do I…[Read more]
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Oh my, thank you, JerMe, for the kind words. And See?
You understand, and it is why all of us should listen to other’s stories to gain HOPE and know we can recover. Stories of others have power and are tools to connect and hear those things we do have in common. I am happy you listened to the podcast.
I do have a full Relapse Prevention Guide…[Read more]
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Jerome staying away for six months. You did really well. I’m sorry you had a slip.
I’ve hated myself many times for slipping also. I know I don’t have the answers but I continue to try and stay away. I wish along with you that it would be easier no desire to gamble. I think like Ken mentioned part of it is forgetting the pain that gambling has c…[Read more]
Spell check Jerme
Hi JerMe,
Be proud of yourself for being almost six months clean, the road of recovery is zigzag not a straight line so lapses will and often do happen, unfortunately. What you could try to do is 1. Remember your feeling now, the shame, the hurt, the embarrassment, and remind yourself of how they feel the next time you face an urge, try to relive…[Read more]
I have just came back on, after a 6 month fall of the wagon, gambling, hating myself, lying, hiding this addiction. I am exhausted, not sleeping, depressed and at a very low time in my life. This morning I woke up, looked at myself in the mirror and said you are an addict, Today is Day 1 of Recovery. Time to start again, this difficult journey of…[Read more]