Activity – horeind

horeind posted an update in the group Community 3 years ago

I have always had self control. Sent to the casino on rare occasions and planned to lose whatever I took in. I had a small win ($120) last week. Ever since then, I am ALWAYS fighting the urge to gamble. On my phone, at the local casino, whatever. In the past week I have lost about 2k and over-drafted my checking account. I have a problem. I am at an early stage and I know that being down just 2k is probably a drop in the bucket compared to others here, but I feel that constant urge to go back and it is a struggle to control it.
- alifer2 replied 3 years ago
  
  Actually no i got addicted and struggled with urges after my 3 rd visit to a casino.I actually spent or lost i think was 75.oo I went home laid on the couch and was horrfied i spent that much.Wasnt but a few days later i was right back in ,Soon was nothing to loose a couple hundred in a few hrs.But by this time i wasnt horrifed any more and so long as i knew i had more money to go back the next day ,the money eventually is just a visual piece of paper to me.no longer saw the value of it,not possible ,now it was only something i knew i needed to put into a machine ,the only thing that helped me to escape.The knowledge of knowing i was in need of medical help,i never sought it,and gambling now took that power away from me.And for 4yrs i never knew how or where to seek help!!! Saw all the sighns and 1-800 numbers but ,they were for the person next to me ,not me.Then one i looked into the mirror and didnt see me .I saw an addict.But the truth is i saw that addict after the 3 rd visit.So huge way to go for seeking help in the early days!