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Hi carlooch, I can related. What is helping me is working the 12 step program. I was in denial of my gambling problem for over two years. I thought I could control it. Now I realize I am a recovering compulsive gambler. I am powerless over gambling and my life has become unmanageable. There is a good course at http://www.gamblerhealing.com that is working for me. Will power alone won’t work, but if you come to believe that a Power greater than yourself can restore you to a normal way of thinking and living and make a decision to turn your will and your life over to the care of this Power of your own understanding. you will begin recovery. You can stop with the help of a higher power. For me, I talk to God daily, meditate, and most importantly recognize I am a recovering compulsive gambler. You can turn this around with your higher power’s help. Think of the addiction as a “monster” and stop feeding it. Things get better in time.

In the early days I had a problem recognising that my brain worked differently to others, I thought I could control it also but my first step to recovery was to accept that my brain, as with all compulsive gamblers, is in fact wired differently. We think we play to win when in fact winning only provides us with more time to play. I have read many articles on the way the mind of the gambler works, it is very interesting stuff and eventually one has to accept that we, as compulsive gamblers, cannot gamble casually, it will always be all or nothing. What we need to recognise is that the ‘fix’ or the ‘high’, call it what you will, is in the anticipation of the win, the win itself only gives a fleeting moment of pleasure. We also have to accept that the casino owes us nothing, what you spend is the cost of your entertainment, if you feel owed it will be harder to give it up. I lost a 6 figure compensation for a permanent injury, even that didn’t stop me, it was only by educating myself as to how my mind functioned and counselling at Gamcare that made me look to myself for the answers and find the motivation to stop. Get help in any way shape or form that you can, surround yourself by people who will be sympathetic and encouraging, join GA and meet like minded people, get counselling, one to one or online, re-educate your brain so that you lose the desire to gamble. We are intelligent human beings, we can learn to speak new languages, we can learn new skills we can also learn how to change our habits but you have to want to do it. I kept this note on my laptop to remind me that THE SOLE PURPOSE OF THE CASINO IS TO RELIEVE ME OF ALL OF MY MONEY. and finally have belief in yourself, if I can do this then so can you.