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I’m new to the chat room. I’m a gambler. I’ve gone to one GA meeting over a year ago but didn’t make the time to go back. Because of my addiction and it’s consequences, because of the complete lack of real understanding or support, in fact due to the enabling at home, I feel beat down and like I’m nothing and no one would care if left this earth today. I’m wallowing yes. I just don’t understand this problem I have and why I let it control me when I know what is going to happen every time I head to the casino. What the hell is wrong with me? Do I just like to be miserable? Is it an attention getter? I want the fix to be as immediate as the gambling rush but I know it won’t ever be. I’m in financial trouble. I’m in emotional trouble. and I’m sick of doing this to myself. There is a meeting in my area tomorrow night and I intend to go but am really pissed at myself TODAY.