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Hi all. On December 22nd 2022 I decided that’s it this gambling has been out of control and cost myself too much. I’m stopping for the 50th time. But sometimes before that I could only last a day in the past over six years.
None the less March 4th I had a slip I managed to spend $1600 in that one day. Most of my value is tied up in equity if it was liquid while I e been in the problem who knows what I’d have left.
My sister who is 50 is sitting in a hospital bed fighting for her life she has pancreatic cancer she’ hasn’t smoked , drank or gambled. That cancer has about a 5 % survival rate. The good news is she found out yesterday the doctors are going to operate. She: the doctors have caught it before it has had a chance to spread too much.
This month I lost $31000 on a business deal. I can’t afford a loss like that but I need to deal with it.
I’m facing a claim against myself that if they win. I’ll loose 70% of my equity. And this is businesses related not gambling related. I believe I should win the claim but that remains to be seen.
I value you / the people‘S stories , struggles that frequent this site. I don’t feel alone in my fight with gambling. I thank you for this.
My point 🙂 despite everything that has happened to me and I have a good sum of money sitting in my account that’s for bills I haven’t taken $1 dollar and made a bet this month. There isn’t an excuse for me to do that. I don’t need to hurt myself anymore.
So one month bet free. Thank you and much love and hope for all of us in our struggles too be free of gambling or any addiction we may have❤️
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Thank you for sharing Serenity – I myself had a slip this last week. I spent my entire mortgage/bills fund which is all the money I had to my name. Here I am trying to clean up the mess – even though it isn’t possible… It’s funny how you can take an extended break and then when you come back to the game you tell yourself you’re going to stop at X amount and for whatever reason I just can’t. Thanks again for sharing, it’s nice to not feel so alone…
I have been exactly the same. Im only going to spend $200. Then that’s gone. Well for sure $200 more. I should hit. Oh I did but I have $200 now I’ve got too get the other $300 back but I didn’t I lost the $300 now I e put $400 more in trying to get it back. I’ve lost track of what I’ve put in. If I I have more money I can put in. I should at least break even.
I didn’t. Okay now what. I should stop or the money has run out and I have to stop anyways.
Logic doesn’t work with gambling. Hours have past gambling depression sets in on how im going to survive and pay my bills. My children are adults but it still crosses my mind I’ve indirectly hurt them. More shame.
It’s just insane. I can’t do that too myself anymore. I have prayed to God I’m not a church going kind of a person. But I’ve. been told by a preachers son I’m more Holier than the people he knows that go to church. God please help me stop this.
It’s my guess you are an amazing woman. You need to treat your self as so.
What ever you decide and even if it’s to continue like I have for years but hope not too anymore. Im 100% cheering for you because I’ve been there and understand.
I feel this so much from the both of you. I realized after playing today…I do win but I don’t pull out. I keep playing wanting more. I play with 200, lose it. Play another 200, win 300 but need to keep playing to gain back what ive lost. I feel so seen with this community, our minds all work the same. Serenity is right, logic doesn’t work eith gambling and it sets u into a depression after time warps 7 hours later and tour mind is buzzing your body feels weak. Both of you – serenity and moonbeam are amazing souls. We’ve got this!
Willow you are right our minds are very similar. You are also right by saying we’ll get through this together. Hugs
Serenity, you sure are going through a lot especially with the thought of losing your sister. I’m glad she has a chance now. Congratulations on your month I know that is a hard thing to do so Way to go.! I wish you all the best in the struggle that we all share
God bless
Steve
Steve you sure are the sweetest guy. Thank you for your kind words. I pray often for my sister. Her spirits are good that will help her.
Thank you for your well wishes on my one month free. As you mentioned only someone that knows the same can understand what that means. Hugs