Activity

For approximately six years I have played slots.
First in a restaurant and a bar. Then online which none are good but online is the worst But again none of it is good.
For about three years now I have avoided any casinos or bar gambling. So I feel that is out of my system. There was a time I wanted too go every day. Not now I can easily drive by.
But on line about four and a half years ago I self excluded myself for the max they had which was three years.
After the three years I thought I could be more responsible and in someways I think I am. But still far from good enough. During the three years of self exclusion I sometimes wished I didn’t pick so long. I knew it would run out.
Now I’m ran out. This is simply isn’t where I want too be.
Tonight I have requested they close my account no self exclusion even though that keeps a person away for a time.
I’m hoping closing my account will help reinforce what I want for my life and that’s not gambling. The last time I kept my account Sure I enjoyed it. But it also brings me great shame. I feel I’m worth more than feeling this way.
There is no one that I am near too that I would want too share this experience with. So I go it alone that way.
I’m not near any centre with a twelve step program.
I have managed too stay away from casinos and bars so I’m hoping I will be just as strong with the online gambling.
It will bring me peace which I have been wishing for for sometime. To be honest I wanted just one decent win and I was going to remove myself.
But waiting for that decent win just sucked me in deeper.
I’m done.
Thank you for being here I wish great things for all of us seeking a better path!