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I thought I would share an update. I placed my last bet on Dec 28th, 2020. So it has been about 6 weeks since I quit gambling after 6 years of going to the casino every other day. I am honestly astonished that I was able to stop gambling . I left the casino crying on that cold December night and was so angry with myself. I said to myself “never again. I am done. I can’t do this anymore. I have worked too hard to just throw my money away.” I was trying to chase wins so I could pay off some of my debt. Of course we know how that goes. I know that everyone recovers in different ways. I do not attend zoom meetings very often. I have not yet attended in person GA meetings because they are all put off due to COVID. I have read 2 books on compulsive gambling that helped me immensely. I come here and go to Facebook groups and I feel like it honestly helps if I only check into these groups once or twice a week at the most. Why? Because for me, the more I read and talk about gambling, the more I think about it and i get depressed because i don’t like thinking about it anymore. I have managed to flip the switch in my brain and I honestly don’t think about it often. I no longer rush to the casino when i have a rough day.. I no longer think about putting bill money aside for gambling.. I don’t have urges at this point.. i don’t have triggers.. For me, compulsive gambling affected me mostly financially. And the financial stress is what is got to me.. Just thinking about how I lived off of credit cards because I spent all of my paychecks at the casinos makes me sick. I dream of the day that I will make my last loan and credit card payments. I think my goal of early retirement and traveling the world with my boyfriend of 11 years is what motivates me the most. I just can’t stand living paycheck to paycheck. I knew that if i didn’t stop gambling,, i wouldnt be able to recover financially or ever be able to retire. I know some of you probably think I’m crazy, but what I’m doing is working for me. I haven’t gambled in almost 2 months. I am making massive payments toward my 34 thousand dollars in gambling debt and I have calculated that if I keep doing what I’m doing, I can have it paid off in 18 months and put it behind me. I do not have the desire to gamble anymore. Now if the thought of gambling comes to me, I just think “I don’t do that anymore” and go on with my day. I got rid of all casino cards, I have never gotten into online gambling (thank goodness for that) and I have a tile thing that allows my boyfriend to see where I’m at at any given time-this helps me remind myself that I cannot and will not go to the casino. Anyway, like I said, everyone recovers in different ways. I just thought I would share my experience thus far. I know things can change any second. But I am thankful for where I am at right now. I just got a raise at work today and feel appreciated at my job for once in my life. I mentioned in other posts before that previous horrible bosses and unhealthy work environments always made me want to gamble to escape. I have found happiness in my work life and am not so stressed out. This definitely is life changing for me and has only helped to lessen the desire to gamble or need to “escape”. Hang in there guys, if I can stop, you can too. One day at a time. ❤