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Let’s Remember, Life is short, life will have events happen, so be prepared like I was. With a heavy heart and why I have been away, my father passed away from COVID last week. He lived in Southern Calif., we could not be there due to COVID, he died with none of us being with him.

We can’t have a normal funeral or memorial and because of COVID, he had to be cremated. This gave us no closure and couldn’t even see his body or anything. This has been a very hard week for me. Even though I knew this day would come, as my father was 88-yrs-old, it is really hard to lose your parents. My mom passed in 2003. We were able to talk over two weeks while she was in the hospital and I got to make amends with her B4 her passing. But not my father. See, sometimes the family who should support you doesn’t always, and don’t accept or understand about gambling addiction and recovery.

My father and I had been estranged for more than 15+yrs. I never hurt my father or my parents when I was deep into my gambling addiction, at that time I was living more than 982 miles away in Oregon. None the less this still has my emotions all over the place. Has triggered my depression and more. So I am journaling daily and using my relapse prevention plan as well. EVEN after gathering 13+yrs maintaining recovery, I will be honest… I have had a few urges that I know is coming from stress and grief. My siblings are causing a lot of it too. I will continue one day at a time.
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