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In my case and I don’t think that I am unique, I came to the conclusion that my gambling, whist being a problem, was not the root cause of my problem, it was a symptom of an underlying problem. Gambling gave me a place to escape to, to distract me from the real issue. Others turn to drink or drugs, I chose gambling which, over time, devastated my life to such a degree that it soon took centre stage. Gambling became the problem and smothered the real problem, low self-esteem, which was the trigger that led me to gamble in the first place.

The real issue was deep rooted from my childhood and I had to work on self-improvement, I did this by reading life coaching books, watching seminars on You Tube, one to one counselling etc.

If you think about it why would any of us do anything that was bad for us like smoking, drinking, taking drugs or gambling? It doesn’t make sense, yet still we do it. No other mammal in nature adopts such behaviours, so why do we? The ridiculous answer is ‘because we are more intelligent!’

In fact this is true, we are more intelligent and it is that intelligence that is our undoing, we have the capacity to over think things, we look for logical reason as to the why?

In truth, I do not believe that the why is relevant, our hanging on to the why is what does the damage, we all have our story to tell but in fact life becomes better when you can let go of your story, start your life over and take ownership of decisions you make.

I used to be consumed with guilt over my gambling, when I look back now I see that guilt as a form of self-punishment and conveniently, a distraction from my addressing the real problem and that is why forgiving yourself is very important so that you can make a fresh start.

For me to stop gambling my mind had to be clear, I had to let go of my story, my justification, my guilt because there was nothing to be gained by hanging on to those things.

Accept those flaws and own them, then you will be free to discard them without regret.