Activity – pickm2938

pickm2938 posted an update 5 years, 7 months ago

all I ever wanna do is gamble that is all i think about is gambling if i could have one wish the world it would be to not have gambling addiction i have anything and everything i could have ever asked for i have a beautiful daughter a wonderful husband wonderful family and yet i pissed all my most precious moments away that i could have had with my daughter on thoughts of gambling all i want is my life to be like it was before where my mindset wasnt to gamble wish that i could stop thinking about it but it’s like an evil fire inside me that just keeps going and going and even when i quit for a few weeks and i save money up to pay off my debts i just blow it because it think I’m going to win it all back because i have in the past won alot of money on jackpots and i used it to pay off some debts i have gone to numerous Ga meetings consistently and most of the meetings just weren’t working for me I’ve gone to numerous counselors I’m seeing a new 1 right now i like her a lot hopefully it will work out I’m seeing a psychiatrist i just feel so hopeless please help me please tell me that there’s hope gambling will be in my mind 24/7 i mean gambling is all around us you can’t escape it no matter what i hear music and songs on the radio in parts in the songs i hear things that sound like slot machines everywhere I turn there is something to do with gambling how do I escape this horrible disease

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- liz777 replied 5 years, 7 months ago
  
  sorry for how you been thru. I understand you very well. I am in the process of recovery I felt this way 5 years ago but one day I decide to take one moment at the time and set small goals and write in my calendar when I fall and how much I loose and what is the feelings I get afterwards and what is causing to my life every time I fall. so far I started to make a goal for stop for a week then when accomplish I stop for a moth then make a goal to stop for 3 moths and is been 2 years I been trying to stop for a full year but I been having downfalls and the most I been able to stop is 9moths but I write every fall in my calendar and all information possible like how much I loose, what I feel, what is causing to me etc. and I write this to help me to keep trying to stop and get better. I believe in my self and I have decide never to stop believing in my self and loving my self and to keep telling my self this will pass some day because everything gets better with faith. I can do this. You can do this.
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