I’m in the same crazy making boat. I tell myself I will only spend $20, $50, even $200 and win and loose and win and loose until I loose it all and more. I have told myself I can do this and just have a little fun. Each time ends the same. Last time 14 hours straight! Just went in to spend a couple hours and went home at 11:00 am crying and feeling like I want to just die.
Addiction, cunning, baffling, POWERFUL!!! I know what I need to do. Surrender and go to meetings, call people in the GA program and sign into outpatient treatment. This is no joke. These machines are designed to suck out our souls.
I feel ya. I have the same thing happening over here. And in order to go to meetings, I have to drive by the casinos! I didn’t go to a meeting tonight but called someone that was going to it. I didn’t trust myself to not end up gambling tonight. I got busy with yard work. Forgot for a little bit and then contemplated going at 9:30pm!!! Just for a couple hours, my mind tells me. Ugh. I didn’t go and I am going to a 2 hour meeting at the inpatient center in the morning, then to work.
I don’t have it down either, but I know there is help and I’m trying to grab a hold to save my life.