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A message from a recovery coach that I respect.

“𝐈 𝐚𝐦 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐈 𝐚𝐜𝐭 𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐤 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐈 𝐝𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐚𝐲. 𝐈 𝐚𝐦 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐢𝐧 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐞.” We are not responsible for other people’s emotions. And guess what? They’re not responsible for ours either.

No longer blaming others for any of my feelings and accepting personal responsibility for my emotional health was one of the best things I’ve ever done. I rarely say, “You made me angry,” or “You made me sad.” Our serenity level depends on losing blame and recognizing the Power of taking responsibility for our emotional health. No one can make us feel how we feel. It happens through our perceptions and interpretations from moment to moment. When we know this, we’re less likely to blame and more likely to move to the solution of looking at ourselves quickly.

When we see the source of our emotions within ourselves, all of a sudden, that is liberating because the alternative makes us a victim, BUT if we see we are the source within ourselves, we are powerful.

“Light and darkness happen within you; pain and pleasure happen within you; joy and misery happen within you. Everything that has ever happened to you has happened within yourself! The events around you may not be determined by you, but how your experience of life is on this planet is 100% determined by you.” ~ Sadhguru

For many, especially people with codependency, it is the belief that they are somehow responsible for everyone else’s happiness. I did this, especially with my mother and father growing up.

While we can influence others, we can’t control their feelings or actions. It’s a liberating realization, albeit a challenging one to embrace. We’re all shaped by various factors—our upbringing, experiences, both good and bad (trauma), triggers, and unique personalities. But ultimately, each person is the source of how they feel and respond to the world around them.

Understanding this has transformed how I perceive relationships. It’s a reminder that I’m not here to carry the weight of someone else’s happiness or fulfillment. That burden isn’t mine to bear.

Every emotion is valid, and we have the Power to choose how we respond to them. No one else can dictate our happiness or self-worth. It’s a journey of self-discovery and self-acceptance.
Don’t give your Power Away,

Paul Noiles

#LifeLessons #Happiness #SelfAwareness #EmotionalIntelligence