Activity

Day 79, completely abstinent. I feel good this morning.

Next week I have an interview for a job that will put me back to a place say around 2015 when I was doing well with a good job and gambling had not taken over every thought, word, or deed that I at that time enjoyed.

Then things turned into a nightmare. Every bit of money I earned went to the machines. If I won, which was often in the beginning of an adventure, it was never enough. I would stay and then put more in until I had nothing left. I play that tape because the drive to return was only stronger every time I went to the casino. I had made it my ritual to play my coupons on certain days throughout the week and around my paydays.

Today, I have a new schedule with my Google calendar. I had tried quitting many times. And one day, after reading these emails in my inbox throughout those years, something just clicked and I decided no more. I was not going to engage in this losing activity. I realized that I did not really want to quit gambling, I just wanted to quit losing.

My friends, I found that for me, the only way I would be able to quit losing was to quit playing. So I did. I started making a whiteboard with Ken L’s daily reflection to remind me the reasons to not gamble, and the wisdom and strength from my higher power that it was my choice to play or not play. I chose to not lose and I have a winning streak of 79 days in a row I have not lost!

It can be done. I pinterest my daily affirmations of what to focus on: My keystone habits, my atomic habits, my purpose, my physical strenth, my mental wellness. I focus on my goals, being a better person, my blessings, the present moment. I meditate with the Calm app daily about 3 times, I am getting stronger every day, I choose what I become. I have realized I have the power to change my story.

Have a great day, and remember, these are just some things that work for me. I have also quit my alcohol use thanks to another program called Smart Recovery. It has helped me tremendously along with these GA community postings. I thank you all for sharing your story and wish you well on your journey of recovery.