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I sometimes, actually more often then I should, think about the absolute thrill of my gambling days.
The hour plus drive alone was a happy place filled with hope and sheer excitement. The ritualistic straightening of my car before I stepped foot into the casino and the last trip to the bathroom before hitting the slot machines. Then the knowledge that even if I loose , I have thousands in credit I can use. What can go wrong. Well, we all know how the story ends.
It still gives me pleasure to thunk back on those absolute high times. Sometimes I think that’s where I would like to be before I die.
It is insanity. I understand the brain chemistry, but what a thrill. I never have done drugs , not even once and yet here I was, suicidal and rock bottom.
It has been 2 yes and by the grace of God , I got out of there.
It will always be scary for me .
I have prayed and asked God why I can’t be that excited when I search for him.
I ask if that is what Eve was feeling before she took a bite.
It is satanic, I know and very scary to know how easily we are induced.
Stay aware