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jbear2018 posted an update 5 years, 3 months ago
Haven’t been here in awhile. I completely went off the rails and went crazy with the “slots” didn’t feel guilty about just pissed at myself. I want to be free of it. I’ve recommitted myself. It’s been 1 week and 2 days now. I can do this. I know it. I want to be free. I’ve decided to work things out with the husband so this has to happen. I want to have my family back. Can’t do this with this hanging over my head. I have to learn to handle my stress better. I know this sounds weird but I started praying. I haven’t prayed in 21 years. Makes me feel better. I don’t know what I believe. But I guess I just need to at least work it out somehow with what I need and what I am thankful for.
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Praying is not weird I pray everyday I pray to keep me from going to the casino the 1st step
It has been strange or weird for me as I have considered myself an atheist for over 20 years. Only had an issue with gambling for about 3. I mean I’ve gambled but the compulsive came on in the last 3 years. The need to just keep putting it back in for the need to gamble regardless. It’s so weird. Before. It would be wohoo won a tiny bit. Cash out. I could go forever and ever and be fine. So much stress and life changes I didn’t handle it well and gambling took a hold of me. Now I want to be done with it.