• CD posted an update in the group Group logo of CommunityCommunity 3 weeks, 4 days ago

    I don’t know if anyone reads these posts or not but I feel better if I share even if it is to thin air. I have read several stories and I am sure my case is quite similar. I am completely out of my mind and insane once I start gambling. My problem with quitting has always been the helplessness I feel because I know I can’t pay anyone back. Gambling gave me the only hope and even false hope was better than no hope it at least that was my rationalization. I feel today is my rock bottom. I have tons of debt, I have lied to get money from anyone that would loan to me, and I have even stolen. The burden feels too much to handle. The guilt feels overwhelming. I read your stories and honestly I don’t know how you overcame. I feel so hopeless. Some know about my gambling and some don’t. I have no access to money or credit but thankfully I still have a job. But I am about to lose my car and so that is a challenge in trying to make more money. Everyone is expecting money now. All my bills are dangerously behind. I just don’t know what to do. How do you get past all of this? How do you even start?

    • Hi CD, I read your post and can relate to where you are at. The only way one can come right is to make the decision to stop. You need to see the situation for what it is and then start taking the right steps. You still have an income which needs to be preserved and you can only tackle one thing at a time but each thing that gets sorted is sorted. Money has no value when gambling however as soon as you stop it seems to go so much further. I hope your journey will turn for the better and you will find the peace that is possible. We have all done wrong and once we acknowledge it we can decide to do better. Wishing you all the strength in your recovery.

      • Thank you for your response. I really appreciate that. I have an understanding wife which makes all the difference in the world. I know I am lucky in that regard. I didn’t gamble today even though I have money. That is a good first step. I was tempted but I didn’t do it. I hope your relationship can stay strong too. I know it is hard to handle the aftermath of gambling. I am in serious trouble but I try to focus on what I still have positive in my life. I hope your significant other can start to see the good that is coming from your abstinence.

        • Jake replied 3 weeks ago

          Hi CD,
          I can also relate and I have been through and going through all the same things. Do you gamble online or in person? I had to self exclude myself which i think saved my life. Gambling messses up your brain chemistry and the only way to reset it is to not gamble for some time. Self Exclude and block gambling websites, its the only way when you are addicted, trust me i’ve been lying to myself for 2.5 years about being “in control” and when i self excluded it was like the weight of the world was finally off my shoulders. Trust me its the only way.

          • I have self-excluded from all of the legal casinos in my state. However, most of my gambling was online at casinos that are not legal. I don’t think I can self-exclude at those. I just have to find other ways to use my time. My wife and I are looking for part-time online jobs. I am hoping I can fill my time with making money the right way. I do feel some glimmer of hope. I am hoping it gets better each day. Thanks for your comment Jake. I appreciate taking the time and it feels good I am not the only one that has had these compulsion.

    • Thank you for posting CD. I really appreciate it.

    • We do read them. Please continue. Thank you