Someone asked me to share this….
“Blues Thoughts for the evening”
Her short dark hair has a glint of blue as the setting sun strikes it. She stands in the fading light trying to decide what to do, where to go, what to feel…. the girl has proven herself in this world time and time again as a surviver. Overcomming obsticals and challenges most would not survive she has earned her right to happyness… yet it eludes her.
Her mind turns to the shiney… coins, lights, sounds of happiness… she knows she shouldn’t. The place her grandmother would call a waste and others would call sinful… yet it still draws her… what is the attraction? If she is lucky (once in a blue moon) she may win a small bit of shiney, which never lasts long… and always comes with the mistaken promice of more… she struggles to push it from her mind.
Shes got plenty to do, plenty she could do, places she could go, things she might enjoy… her mind wanders back to the shiney… with a deep breath and an even deeper sigh she looks at the moon rising. The moon is shiney…
Growing up there was plenty of moonlit nights she recalls looking over the water, thinking about the call of the shiney… but it was different back then. the shiney was moonlight on the water, cold and inviting, A promice of peace.. a promice she could resist. What did she do then? Thinking back… most of the time it was her love of her grandmother that kept her from the shiney, she could not bare to put her grandmother through that…
Grandmother is gone now… Mother will be too soon… Mother enjoys the shiney… it brings her a warm distraction from the darkness of her days. It occurs to her the Shiney takes on different forms for different people, different stages of life…
What is the Shiney really? It is the temptation of something that is not good, something that for you will only end in darkness. The more you strive for it, the more you sink into the darkness.. the cold depths of dispare… you try to turn your mind from it yet it has a tendril of sweet whispers wrapped around your brain that call to you… that whisper of the promice of happiness and joy… an illusion. Do you choose to follow the whispers and try to obtain the joy and happiness that in your heart you know is not there? Or do you fight against the whispers that nothing seems to quiet and drudge through another day with no hope of joy?
She watches as the sun rises, realizing that sleep eluded her again this night. Her mind ebbing with the flow of thoughts, pondering things she cannot change, Making lists of things she can do, change, and accomplish but has no desire to actually do.
She tries to think of a time when she had no Shiney whispers in her mind… she knows there have been times, but … when… how long has it been… the answer eludes her..
That is the thing about the Shiney it doesn’t want you to remember… to live without it… It thrives on your need for it. The shiney knows when you are hungry for it… and it happily feeds that hunger with an unquenchable thurst….