Activity – ADH-Why Did I Do That?

ADH-Why Did I Do That? posted an update in the group Community 11 months, 4 weeks ago

I am 34f and have just admitted to my only for the moment that I have an online gambling addiction. The SC casinos get me. I seriously cant control myself. It’s like I black out, send every penny I can get my hands on (I’ve literally borrowed from family to gamble after I asked for help with bills). I’m sick over it. It’s been 3 years now. I want to be free from this!! I’m going to lose everything, and I’m so scared to tell my boyfriend tomorrow. He’s never going to trust me again. I feel so helpless and it is 1000% all my fault. Just borrowed money from my brother
(my only family pretty much) to cover what I used from our checking that was our rent money (due tomorrow). I spent $30 before I put it in our account. I could have easily spent it all in a matter of minutes. I worked so hard to build my credit, have a small savings, and COVID came, I was bored at home since we couldn’t be in the office. My mental health spiraled (ADHD, severe depression, severe anxiety, PTSD) and I turned to online casinos to ease some of that pain. It really worked at first. I felt like I was winning at life for a short while. Now I don’t even want to know how much I’ve wasted away (mine, my boyfriends… I know, that’s financial abuse and I am so angry at myself for this) but it’s definitely over $100,000. We are a normal mid/upper lower class family. No way we could ever afford this. What the hell am I doing??

Please, any advice… I am not in a good place right now, and need some hope!
- Lindy replied 11 months, 3 weeks ago
  
  I certainly can relate to how you’re feeling right now. It’s awful when we realize how much we’ve spent and the secrets etc etc. Start ‘today’. This addiction creeps up on us and before we know it we don’t recognize ourselves. My family found out … the people I most wanted ‘not’ to find out…. but they have only helped me.. and am trying to find myself again.. before this addiction took hold. You’re perhaps better to tell your boyfriend and if your brother doesn’t know.. him too. If you don’t know how the face to face will go… perhaps try and put all your thoughts down on paper… how you’re feeling and that you really want their help to ‘stop’…. Anyway…. you’ll find support here but you may benefit from Gambler’s anonymous…. please take care and ‘believe’ you can do it ! Lindy
  - Serenity replied 11 months, 3 weeks ago
    
    ❤️
  - David replied 11 months, 3 weeks ago
    
    Hi dear you not alone 🙂
    If I can advice talking whit that be honest whit you bf
    Tell you need help , my gf she helps me but I did a promise whit her and unfortunately i didt in a good ways
    But try asking a helps
- Serenity replied 11 months, 3 weeks ago
  
  ADH Lindy have you a lot of good advice. My best wishes for you!