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angel posted an update 5 years, 4 months ago
Gambling addiction is like chasing coke or something similar, or worse. I went to a ga meeting this morning, really great meeting. Was going to go to another tonight. Paid off my money tree loan. Then took out another, drove to the casino and lost it all. This keeps on happening. I think I hit my bottom but apparently not. I just started gambling 6 weeks ago and it has taken me down so far and fast it’s frightening. I have myself signed up for an outpatient treatment center with 2 hour intake on Monday and program starts on Wed. I just don’t trust myself alone. It’s horrible. I’m 54 years old and haven’t drank or drudged in many, many years. Now I find I have a gambling addiction and it’s the most cunning, powerful and baffling addiction ever. And embarrassing. I just blew through $500 and don’t even know what the hell happened. And I get home, almost an hours drive, and want to bring back a blank check to that I can keep it up. INSANITY!!!
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Uffda I know the feeling I’ve been really screwing up lately and I have nowhere to turn I feel such a failure in life I have 3 beautiful kids and 3 grandchildren I feel horrible because my time is at casino and I have guilt from being away too much with the two cats I have I watch my sisters dog I take for a walk and off to casino I spend everything I have I’ll win put back 3 or 4 times over but rarely ever leave with money and I f I do I just go back the next second I get what or how do I stop this mad viscous cycle I’m in I’ve borrowed money from friends family etc… spent all my billl money and now the only thing left is the freeplay and I feel I have to go cuz I have nothing and even so I’ll probably not keep it any winnings anyway I put over 2,000 in won it back and put it back ugh! I heard this guy won 15,000 and he said he put it all back except $3,000 but I bet he put all it back cuz he got $100 from friend anyway I’m at my wits end and don’t want my family knowing how bad I’ve gotten to be again
Bonnie,
Yes! That is the crazy thing! I just went again because of free play points. I’m driving to the casino knowing that every time I go I use up my free play and then get into any money I have. I won $200 on a 25cent bet 2 nights ago. I just couldn’t believe it! So excited! But I just got there and thought I’d play a little longer. 8 hours later I blew through that, won again, blew through that, up and down, up and down until I used all my cash on hand and emptied my account. I’m so in debt.
Uffda! I’m seriously considering inpatient treatment. There is one called Project Turnabout in Granite Falls | Willmar | Marshall | Redwood Falls, MN. A lady in my outpatient group just finished her stay there. (funny cause I asked if they said Uffda there). I don’t know if you have GA meetings close to you and/or outpatient treatment options, but that is a start? I can’t seem to do it on my own so I’m seeking help. I’m so embarrassed and so overwhelmed I get suicidal feelings.