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Well where do I start?? Gambling has been a problem in my life since the day I turned 18. I will never forget driving to Mt. Pleasant Michigan with my family. They have a resort name Soaring Eagle there and at the time you could gamble if you were 18. I remember the few times I had gone with my family when I was younger. I would stand behind my dad or uncle watching them play poker, I was hooked already. I’m sure today if you were to ask my dad if he could go back in time and change one thing it would be that first time he let me step foot into a casino with him. I remember coming back from that first trip and instantly driving to a Best Buy and buying a casino game for my computer. It crazy how much access kids have to gambling. Shoot, its crazy that now I can have access to a casino right on my phone any time I want. I’ve had lots of ups and downs in my life with gambling. Everytime I try to stop I seem to always find my way back in. Up until 2012 the gambling was bad, but I was mainly hurting myself. I got married in 2013 and I now have 3 beautiful young boys. But the mistakes never stopped. I almost went to jail because I stole 10k from my employer. Like usual my dad came to the rescue and helped me. I will never forget that day, my oldest was not even 2 yet and my wife was pregnant. She had to sit and wait for me at the police station for hours while I was being questioned. I admitted my gambling problem, I signed myself out, I went to a counselor. It helped a lot. But it lasted a few years and the mistakes started again. You would think I would have learned my lesson? I almost lost my wife and family. But there I was making the same mistakes. This time I used our 20k line of credit and destroyed me and my wifes name. After all that hard work building my credit back up after all the mistakes I made, and boom!! Felt like it was overnight, I ruined it all. My wife stayed by my side. My dad stayed by my side. I didn’t deserve it. It helped, I put my head down and started to build again. I signed myself out again! (I’ve lost count) Covid hit and the casinos closed. Even if I wanted to sign back in there was no where to go. I was doing really well. Saved up enough to buy a house!! I wish that I could tell you this is my happy ending. I can’t. I messed up again. My poor wife, I convinced her it would be a good idea to go to Las Vegas with her brother!! YES!! You believe that?? Well I lost 7500 dollars, and the itch was back. I’ve now lost another 3k online since I have been back. My wife doesn’t know. I don’t know what to do. But, I took my first step by self excluding from the online poker site. I do not know how I am going to tell my wife or even if I will tell her. Sad part is I know she will support me again like she always has, but I just can’t hurt her again. This time I want to clean up for good! I wrote this in the hopes that someone is at the point where I was when I was 18. PLEASE STOP YOURSELF NOW!! Read my story!!!!! It will never end!! You will never come out on top!!! Trust me. I should have lost my wife and kids, I should have nothing right now, but I was lucky in one thing in my life. God gave me a strong father and wife that refused to leave my side. I really hope with all my heart this helps someone, and writing it out like this has also helped me really see what gambling has done to my life. Not just the money it has taken from me, but the time with my boys, happy moments with my wife. God bless you all and I hope all those that need help including myself make it through this horrible sickness. Sal