• KC posted an update in the group Group logo of CommunityCommunity 3 years, 1 month ago

    2/21/21 is a great day to start a journey in not gambling. I have decided this will be my new Day 1 in this journey. I was hoping to wait until I got 30 days to start chatting again, but I honestly need support for every day of my journey. So while I relapsed, I am starting the journey again. I think it helps to know our brains have been rewired. From our prefrontal cortex to our learning centers. It’s a pattern of decision, pleasure, and wanting to repeat the cycle. But in practicality, what good thing has gambling done for us? We can break the pattern. I pray again for God’s help. I pray to remember my brain is not helping me and perhaps my higher self will. 2/21/21 seems like a great day to begin Day 1.

    • Hi KC,
      As you know it is 30 months since I placed my last bet but before that last bet I had a few relapses. During a relapse I actually started to analyse my play to see how much ‘fun’ I was actually having. In truth there was very little fun, wins provide a momentary buzz the rest was in the anticipation of the win. There were times when it was actually quite boring yet still I persevered until my money ran out. Most of the time I would say that my gambling provided very little in the way of entertainment.

      Looking back I can see that a huge driving force to obtain a half decent win was so that I could cover my tracks and not expose to others just how much I was losing. The more I lost the greater the need to cover it up.

      Once I had come clean with everyone things got a lot easier, I was free to see gambling for what it really was and view my relationship with it instead of panicking about what others would think. Without the guilt to muddy the waters things became a lot clearer.

      I also studied the mind of the gambler online, I found it all quite fascinating and I still research this subject today because the mind is an amazing tool and the more we understand about our own minds the easier it is to control and make choices that are good for us instead of choices that we usually end up regretting.