• SCD posted an update in the group Group logo of CommunityCommunity 3 years, 2 months ago

    I am a secret compulsive gambler who has finally admitted to my partner that I have a problem. I was backed into this corner by the company I work for as I stole money to bankroll my addiction and was found out. Luckily my boss was a very good friend of ours so he agreed that I could repay the money and not involve the police, however I have lost my best friend through this. All my friends re not in touch with me and taken sides. Apart from one friend and my partner I feel so isolated. I never understood before this how low you could feel in yourself but I’m at rock bottom. I will continue to keep going for the sake of my partner and our daughter. The thought of gambling makes me physically sick. I cannot believe I have done this!! Has anyone any similar stories of hope with me that this won’t feel like this forever, or do I have to accept that this is my new life?
    Thanks

    • Hello SCD (Suzy)

      Yes, I had a similar problem and why this is such a cunning and progressive addiction. All the lies, the habits, and poor behaviors we turn to as having money to feed this illness. I did also steal and the person I stole from didn’t want to press charges but the district attorney decided to take over her case and I was prosecuted. They came to my home and arrested me and I was charged, went through the court process and did a week in jail, a whole lot of community service hours, and paid restitution back to her and ALL the court costs, probation of 2yrs.

      I can honestly say it was the best thing that ever happened because if I would never have had to take accountability and face some consequences? I would be most likely to be gambling still or DEAD. Yes, this addiction took me to the brink with two failed suicide attempts. This disease changes you into a person you can not recognize nor could EVER BELIEVE you could do the things we do when we cross the line into uncontrolled addicted gambling. I have been where you are and thinking “I can never dig out of this” and stop gambling. But you CAN, It will take time, openness, honesty, and willingness to be ready to stop.

      Learning the skills and tools to live a better way of life are available. For me, GA was only a part of what I did to aid in finally being able to not have to place a bet everyday. You have taken the first step. You have admitted that you know gambling has made your life a nightmare. If you keep gambling? You will eventually do something illegal to keep gambling. Because again, this addiction is a 24/7 disease. I know you can do this… as your not alone. This month on the 20th, I’ll celebrate my 14th year living life while maintaining my recovery path. You can do this! 💞✨🤗 Catherine

    • There is always hope. I can only imagine your shame and hurt. I have been in a dark place. And it is a dark place. But I can promise you that life will get better. Stick with the recovery and pray. God is listening and now that you have been found out it is the perfect place to start. No more lies and the repayment will give you strength. I am glad you joined. The devil works best when you keep your addictions hidden. Now you can move forward.