Tagged: about me
June 19, 2017 at 8:45 pm #4895
We all have a history that has led us to here, many thousands of different ways and the path to sanity is not just one. There are many but not so easy to find.
June 19, 2017 at 5:37 am #4890
Hi Pansey, thank you for sharing your story!I am sure many on this site can completely understand what you are going through. I don’t have the same background, but found myself gambling for many of the same reasons you mentioned. I certainly hope you can overcome and find your true life’s passions without the cycle of gambling. The same hope that I have for myself or anyone else that gets trapped into this cycle of dysfunction. I know exactly what you are going through! Thoughts and Prayers are with you!
June 15, 2017 at 5:25 pm #4878
Thanks for sharing ((( Pansey )))
Glad you are here and we want you 🙂
Please continue to share for a couple of reasons.
One for yourself and two you never know who your
thoughts and feelings will touch. And as I said
in chat this afternoon ” A Sorrow Shared Is Half
A Sorrow And Joy Shared Is Doubled.”
Hope you keep coming back.
Ken L YBIR
June 15, 2017 at 3:40 pm #4873
I think that my gambling started because my father won the lotto and won 7 million dollars. Yep 7 million dollars. He gave each of us ten thousand to help us out. I forgot to mention that he pocketed 2.7 after taxes. Dad used to say. If you don’t play it won’t pay. He would make my sister who lived in Washington state buy tickets for him every week. Eventually Oregon got the lottery and he started buying them himself. Well one day he got a quick pick at the chinese food place they were a regular at. During this time I didn’t live with my dad. My parents had split up and gotten back together a few times but my dad had been married 3 times and my mother 4 by the time I was in high school. So there was a lot of term oil in my live and no stability. My dad had new family with my moms best friend!!! I could never really get over that. I mean who needs friends like that. Right?? So I never had much of a relationship from that point on. I had 3 step sisters now and I should be like them. It drove me into my own lonely space I stayed until I was about 25.
My mom used to stop and play video lotto when she was at the Moose Lodge. That was a regular stop after work for her and my step dad. I was left to feed and water the cows, pigs, sheep and the horse. Oh and chickens. Then cook dinner for them whenever they may be back home which was never the same time or a decent hour. My mom would eventually as the years went on call me and ask if I have 3 or 4 hundred dollars that she can borrow that she had lost it. She even asked me to borrow it from my boss. I didn’t of course.
But a few years back my dad died. Oh my mother passed away a few years before my dad and when she passed away my step dad didn’t have a funeral for her. Nothing no closure for us kids ( I have one brother with my mom). Poof my mom is gone and thats that. No place to go to visit her nothing. For those of you who think no funeral when you die. Its not for you its for the people who loved you. So when my dad died. I was at the celebration of life and a lady walked up to me to say she was sorry. It was my dads sister. I knew the name but I hadn’t known her. She told me that when I was a month or two old my mother had left me with her. I was her little girl. That my dad was in the military and mom wanted freedom so she gave me to this lady. Well a little over a year my mom came and stole me back from dads sister. Now both parents are gone I have no one to find out what the hell went on in my life as a baby. I know I have always been insecure and felt like I didn’t belong. Now I am understanding why. But with all this going on I stated gambling thinking maybe my dads luck would rub off on me. I Don’t like being told I can’t do something with my money I earned my bills are paid. But my husband tries to micomanage me and I hate it the more I am told don’t gamble the more I do. I really am not sure why I have told all of this to you all but I guess I needed to get it off my chest. I have been a lost soul every since I found out that no one wanted me from day one. I know I don’t trust people or fit in. I want to quit gambling but I don’t have anything else to do. I don’t socialize and I have a bad back. …Sigh…deep breath…Anyways I am glad to find this group. Maybe it will help me find myself. I’m really not a bad person. Thanks for reading this.
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