Connecticut Lady
My name is Lola and I am a compulsive gambler addicted to vlts. It all started 10 years ago. I am somewhat of a computer geek and love video games. So, when I was introduced to vlts I fell in love. It was all downhill from there. Looking back now I can see the hell that I was in from my gambling. I was isolated, lonely, afraid, ashamed.
Back at the end of June, I was watching a video about Alkali Lake, the story of a First Nations Community who came to know sobriety through AA. Near the end of the story a tall native man gets up to talk about his drinking and his subsequent sobriety. He cries during his talk and then I start to cry and can’t stop. I admit to myself that my gambling is out of control and I need help. I get into my car and start driving to a friends house. All the during the 15 minute drive I am crying and telling myself to keep going and not to stop. I wanted so badly to stop and turn around because I was feeling so ashamed of my gambling. But I don’t stop and I keep going and I tell my friend. It was like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders! I felt so free.
I would like to say I quit gambling that day but I am happy to say that I only slipped once since then. I have been gambling free since July 6, 2010 and am enjoying my life. I am seeing a counsellor every month to talk about my gambling and he tells me I am doing well. However, there are no GA meetings in my area and the closest one is 2.5 hours away. Having gone to a few AA meetings my partner, I am feeling the need for the fellowship of people like me, compulsive gamblers. It is my hope through this venue that I can begin to heal even more and share stories.
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